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Kevin Hernandez
Kevin Hernandez

[S4E15] The Crawl

Mike: Last call!Nick: Ack! We got one more bar on the crawl! We have to finish the smile!Mike: You're never, ever gonna make it. And I'm never gonna ride a Jet Ski with Tom Colicchio on my back,so sometimes dreams just don't come true.Nick: I'm sorry about that guy Galecky not hugging you from behind in the water on a motorized thing! I'm sorry! We will finish what we have started!All: [cheer] Yay!Nick: We will feast on the spoils of this night for a thousand moons! In the name of love and booze! [crawlers cheering]Mike: Oh, no. My crush is back. I hate myself.

[S4E15] The Crawl

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Winston: He's about to crack. We have to go tonight.Nick: So I have news about a bar cr... Was I just out here talking to you guys about the bar crawl? Did I already pitch it all to you? Well, it's happening tonight!

Schmidt: Well, it's with a heavy heart... [laughs] Oh! ...that we really must leave you.Fawn Moscato: We really must. He's too much.Schmidt: It was a pleasure.Fawn Moscato: Pleasure. Easy on the puns, okay? And you've got broccoli in your teeth. Remember what I told you about eating at public functions?Schmidt: Only use your back teeth.Fawn Moscato: Only use your back teeth.Schmidt: Hey, Fawn, I'm sorry. We should probably get to Nick's bar crawl now, yeah? You remember? I confirmed it, like, ten times with your intern.Fawn Moscato: Yes, yes, yes, no. First, I need to, uh, schmooze some vascular surgeons. Got to get a discount on my spider vein removal. Okay?Schmidt: Okay, ten minutes tops.

Schmidt: Hey, it's my business partner that I was telling you about. Schmidt!All: Schmidt!Schmidt: Nick, who are all these people?Nick: These are the crawlers. The single, the lonely, the close-talkers, the shockingly pale, the stank-mouths,fat boys in the back... [whoops twice] The chubby-fronts, the delusionally-okay- with-themselves... but no one is alone tonight because...All: [chant] The crawl is for all! The crawl is for all! The crawl is for all!

Nick: No, 'cause I'm gonna murder you if you're pretend-drinking on my bar crawl! And you're breaking my heart! You can't fight the crawl. It's like fighting a hurricane. You know what a hurricane is? Do you guys have those over the pond?Ryan: We don't, but I know what it is.Nick: You guys don't have them?Ryan: No.Nick: They're awful. It's like fighting one of those. And a hurricane doesn't have fists, so just, bang, you lose!

Nick: Valentine's Day might be for couples, but the crawl is for all.Man: Yes.Nick: We just got our motto, folks.All: The bar crawl is for all! 041b061a72


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